joogling an abundance of cheese

i’m blogging offline, if that’s not a contradiction in terms, coz i get the feeling the dial-up internet connection could be a bit pricey and i still haven’t got a job. it’s funny coz i was thinkin i should really get one and that everyone in the house must be thinking what a lazy leetle so-and-so i am but then last night supermum told me that, while i was out visiting six irish pubs to proffer my services, markus commented that i’m a workaholic! really?! me?? i think not, but i’ll willingly let others continue to think so, perhaps it might help my trashbag reputation...

speaking of laziness, today i didn’t even get outta bed til nearly midday. i made the fateful mistake of putting curtains up on my windows a few days ago and ever since then i have not been able to get up, regardless of what time i set my alarm. of course, it could have something to do with the fact that i have no real need to get up, or that i go to bed between midnight and 1am most nights, but no, let’s blame it on the curtains which, silky dark blue with stars on them, must be convincing my slumbering brain that it really is still night outside.

when i finally did get up it was a breakfast outside kinda day, so sunshiney and warm that the butter was melting on the table. after a bread roll n coffee for breakfast and attempting (unsuccessfully) to read my horoscope in german, i decided to practise my juggling, yup, for practically the first time since i learnt how from astroturf puddle boy in birmingham, not alabama.

thing is (here’s my list of excuses), i don’t really wanna practise inside coz the ceiling’s too low in my room and the rest of the house is pretty chaotic and...well...let’s just say i don’t have supreme command over my juggling balls yet. so on a day where bare feet are perfectly applicable and a singlet can be worn sans ensuing goosebumps, i say some juggling is in order!

the best thing about being pretty damn average at it, is that it actually works out to be a form of exercise too. i’m not sure if this still applies when you get good at it, but when you’re not much chop, like me, you’ll be forever bending down to pick up the balls from the ground. when i learnt, i spent an hour or so doing this and ended up hobbling around like an old witch for days as a result ~ seriozna! but today i warmed up~ish, clever, no? well, i’ll letcha know tomorrow...

oh! i’m sorry if i shocked you with the mention of exercise, i’m not going all tom of finland on you, i just know that the situation could get dire pretty quickly when i’m living with such an abundance of cheese!! we gots emmentaler, butter kase, mozarella, camembert, fraisch kase...and they’re just the ones i can remember without looking, there’s at least three other types in the fridge and it’s scarily easier to eat them than it is to avoid them.

and then there’s these things that call themselves krapfen. as unappetising as that may sound, they’re actually donuts! apricot filled, no less!! so yea, they’re only easy to avoid because they evaporate almost as soon as they’re brought back from the s’market. on another food note, we had beer-battered vegetables for dinner tonight and no, i don’t mean the vegetables were beaten over the head with beer bottles (although that would go well with the smashed potatoes we had last time i was here and the spring rolls i massacred a few weeks ago), they were fried in beer batter ~ how much more of a perfect meal could be invented pour moi?!

and i haven’t even BEGUN to tell you about salzburg?! oh, i’m really gonna have to revert to dot points for that one!

7am - wakeup!!!!!!!!!! (not without difficulty, kanyeshna)
spoke to supermum BEFORE she’d had her coffee
BIG MISTAKE
got a stern request NOT to do so again, PLEASE
survived

8.30am - departure
snow AND sunshine all the way
stopped at mondsee
(crescent shaped “moon lake”)
a-bloody-mazing view
(check the photo link on the right)
back on the road with cirque du soleil playin on the stereo
spanks puddle boy

1pm - Salzburg (& the high snobiety according to supermum)
mountainous backdrop every which way
more kinds of more gigantic pretzels than previously imaginable
-chocolate and jam
-pizza
-donut
-nuts
-poppyseed
-and not so ordinary pretzels too!
TREE CAKE - omg!!
beidermeier kaffee (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)
tiny streets, no cars in the centre
old fashioned gents cycling by
salzburger hats and a clear blue sky
mozart is everywhere
despite being long gone
uni choir from san antonio
sang in a freezing church
we met with some of them
(daughter of a friend of supermum
~ from years ago in libya)
dinner...ish & radlers,
that’s beer n lemonade
search for the bus
one way streets
darkness
directions
car horns honking
directions
tally for nice vs nasty salzburgers see-sawing til even
goodbye to americans choristers

7pm - head home accompanied by the eagles and tiredness
10.30pm - go directly to bed, do not pass go, do not eat krapfen OR pretzels OR cheese, just go to bloody bed


yea, so that was that.

other weird things about austria:

they drive on the WRONG side of the road. i know this because, despite being observant, i also drove MYSELF to the video shop the other night in grandma’s car! everyone had a great deal of amusement at my expense about how i wouldn’t be able to drive and they should warn all their friends to stay off the roads but i’m glad to say that i haven’t forgotten the entirety of eight years driving experience and managed to make it there and back unscathed.

they have strange toilets that allow you to examine your waste before you flush it away, you know, in case you had to stash your grandfathers’ watch (a la pulp fiction) or something, i guess...

vegetables are more expensive than cheese and meat! strange. but i’m coping just fine thanks to the efforts and tolerance of my most gracious hosts...does that sound sincere? yea, nah, really, i AM coping. the only stomach churning moment was ordering cheese sandwiches from a late night sausage stand and then watching a mouse run by our feet while we waited for our food, yummo.

so, i’m goin to a goa party in the city tonight with flower-stick stephan and his tres lovely girlfriend claudia. progress learning german: nonexistent at this point. progress with job: had an interview last night. said i could pull a beer even though i never have. plan to do extensive research watching various bar staff pull beers for me all over the city between now and my trial shift...fingers crossed!

tchuss lovelies, hopin you’re all smilin, i have GOTS to get off this thing NOW, love ya xx