alive, just bearly

i meant barely but what i mean doesn't seem to come out right very often over here. lou says it's understandable, not me, i mean i am, but that's not what she meant.

i guess that proves that point pretty unarguably.


sew, things be hokay but the pieces of me are disintegrating with the excess indulgence found so often in the company of the finest echelons of my freundin circle.


see what i mean?

things just don't come out right, or maybe they aint goin in right, it's hard to know the difference sometimes.

sqodge n dom have been here since thursday last week. they reckon they're goin to europe tomorra tho, i can't decide if i believe them.

oh yea and och aye the lou arrived on a hoovercraft* for a few slumber partees over tha wockenende auch and that, my dears, has been tres fine.

'cept i lost my engraved birthday pen, sorry straubs n mike, i am planning to go back to goodman's to find it but i'm kinda afraid to go on my own.

plus it might just be in one of the many taxis we caught that dark warm night in wien. after all, my jacket was on the dashboard of the bus, wasn't it?


yea.


sorry for long silences. i've been a bit shakey. evil of evilness hangovers from the "cheap and fine" wine at singvögel rückwarts can't be discounted.

that's my local, can see it from my parquetry floors, or the boudoir cum balcony. s'kinda unreliably houred but i quite like it.

specially after a trek home from charlie p's ~ i suppose i'll never understand why österreiches love irish pubs so much.

but as the sq says himself, we do so like österreichish bars. and that from the man who invented antiminding...really, need i say more.


oh yea, plan, i had one of those.


can't remember WOT i did with it. think i left it under a pillow somewhere between nowhere and goodbye. i do so like that expression.


um, plan.


i got a new one. i reckon i might leave austria. not entirely sure when and jolly's doin a fine job of talkin me round. a longer happy hour at spark and i'd be a goner, or rather an antigoner...

hang on, who's antigone again? oooh, i LIKE that!

so, yea, movin on methinks. well, i wouldn't be starnawskirestlessness if i didn't and there IS my reputation to consider.

yours,
she who is so very excited at the capacity to write** for ONCE*** in her fuckin wienertime.


* i gotta say it even if the mighty danube was closed and she had to complete her journey on a boring old bus ~ sorry bob.

** if by write you mean leak out a miniscule confusing amount of information relating to the past twoish weeks of her existence.

***many spanks to oh! lou the lovely, the one and the only sqodgelator and his inimitable superfantasticness and dom

...or was it tom...somehow i can't exactly recall but he was fine methinks even tho me cannae think

xx

ps ~ i KNOW that wasn't soon but soon never really means soon in real life (that's not supposed to be condescending in any way shape or form, just so you know).

vienna IX

coming soon...

ukrainsky contortionists

i was kinda suss when a dodgy lookin ukrainsky woman joined us in our sleeping cabin even though it was already full. but i just kept dozing on my top bunk and tried, for a change to keep myself outta trouble.

she was there for a while though. some of the others left and she was still there making all kinds of racket with plastic wrappers, tape, screwdrivers and a snazzy little tool that could turn any seemingly innocent wall into a SECRET COMPARTMENT!

she pulled the table down, the wall apart and stashed cigarettes in the floor! she turned the ceiling into a door, opened it and stashed some there. they were seriously everywhere. and she wasn't shy bout it either. but when we got to poland, the border guards [six or seven of them in all] took the train apart. and when i say apart, i guess what i mean is A -farking- P A R T. the ceiling came down, the floors came up, all along the corridor the walls came off, bit by bit.

we could either watch or stare at the floor coz we were kicked out of our cabins. the fat controller was pretty nice to me, grinning and asking me, "nice?" i replied, "strange." and he said, "very, and all for work." or was it "awful work". i don't know. just the same as when he checked my passport i couldn't be quite sure if he said "good way" or "go away". benefit of the doubt, i say. yea, so my train was delayed at the border for about an hour an forty minutes due to impressively contortionistic cigarette smugglers. but, after only 36 hours, i have made it from nikolayevka to warsawa!

but somehow i don't feel much like roaming the streets right now. could be due to the shock of below 30 degree temperatures after absolutely roasting every day in nikolayevka. could be the "flat" ukrainsky shoes i bought ~ sqodge said they make me walk like a girl, can you imagine! could be the lack of alcohol intake, my last dosage was two beers with vareniky for breakfast yesterday morn at kiev station with yura pre-teary goodbye.

and i really don't know where to start right now with the whole ukraine slash budapest slash poland extravaganza. i feel like the first things that come to mind about nikolayevka will only make it sound bad: the next to useless power station is undergoing works at present so there's no hot water; there's high unemployment (partly because of the power station's uselesness) and not a whole lot to do which is probably largely why people drink so much; there's a lot of illness and poverty including my (2nd) cousin andrei who i think has killed his liver but keeps drinking and keeps putting himself in hospital. he's 28.

but at the same time, and even more than those negative aspects, it's a really lovely place and kinda feels like my second home now, despite the fact that i still can't navigate myself around ~ again, i blame it on the alcohol intake, it's damn hard to avoid. i know you wont believe me but i HAVE tried. the people in nikolayevka are really lovely but i'll hafta tell ya bout them next time COZ i gots a train to catch. meeting mum n kevin in a few hours somewhere between warsaw and gdynia. don't know what's next.

hope you're ace, spanks fer the mails n comments, i will be back in vienna next week and will definitely write ya then.

love n stuff

xx