dump your partner for the day

I'VE GOT THIS recurring problem. well, okay, not just the one but i wont burden you with more than one for now.

on a far too regular basis at all different times of day, the following happens:

i. get. hungry.

now, i'm guessing there's nothing too freakish about that (although i'm sure it is a condition of particularly high-frequency amongst bored telstra employees), but due to my lack of creativity and skill in the kitchen, the result of my hunger is usually toast.

even this too would probably be okay but when i put bread in the toaster, i get impatient. so usually, i'll go get a drink. then, i'll wait around for a bit, get a bit more impatient, tell myself it wont be much longer (usually aloud), get more bored and impatient, start harassing the nearest living thing etc.

eventually, i'll peer into the toaster to check on the progress of the bread-like substance and, at precisely this point, either the toast will jump out menacingly gnashing it's teeth and brandishing a light sabre or, more often, i'll realise that i've forgotten to push the handle down.

so, i've started trying to figure out just why my short-term memory IS so bad. but then i found this website containing 57 possible medical conditions causing forgetfulness AND a link to symptoms of the silent killer diseases...?

admittedly, it was on a website called wrong diagnosis.com but, well, it's scared me right off. i think i'd rather be forgetful than knowledgable.


oh yea, and speaking of short-term memory loss, the reason i was actually writing this post was to let all you relationshipified people know that today's task (according to THE diary) is "dump your partner for the day" and i knew how excited you'd all be to know it.

here's what you gotta do:

~ announce to your other half that you're done with them and storm out.
~ play the field: fool around and satisfy your animal lust.
~ bitch about him/her: your friends will enjoy revealing that they hate him/her.
~ do that thing you stopped doing because they hate it
~ enjoy a bottle of wine by yourself!
~ masturbate!

okay, i realise that if you're in the southern hemisphere you aint got much time so, those of you in europe, i'm counting on YOU, NO EXCUSES!

today smells like: harley's fourteenth (?) birthday!!

xx